Wait a minute.... I didn't sign-up for this!

Today I took two friends to the orphanage in Boyarka.  They were here a little over a year ago and adopted three siblings from the orphanage.  They are back to adopt again from another orphanage and their kids sent gifts to friends still in this orphanage.  I expected it to be a pleasant day.

When I began working at the orphanage a year ago, I never expected to have my heart so deeply moved by these children.  I was there to bring joy, light, kindness, etc to these poor orphans.  Instead, they have brought these things to my life and so much more.  I have learned to love each of them in a special way, but there are a few of the older girls that have just captured my heart... and today one of them broke it!

As we were looking at pictures and talking about children that had left the orphanage, I noticed a gray cloud forming over Veronica's head.  She is a precious, loving child, and is usually involved in the conversations we have.  But today, I watched her withdraw.  It was so obvious.  I watched this beautiful flower wilt and fade away before my very eyes.  I watched her animated, joyful eyes fill with sadness and despair....  And my heart broke with hers because I knew what was happening.

In May of this year, Veronica will turn 16.  Her chance at a family, her chance at a life full of unconditional love, her chance at being held when she is scared or lonely.....is slipping quickly away from her...right before her eyes.  And she is scared!  She has NO ONE!  No one to turn to when her time at the orphanage is up.  No one to cry or laugh with.  NO ONE!  She is all alone in the world and at 15+ she is terrified of what lies ahead.

I wish I could tell her everything will be ok and that her forever family is just around the corner.  But I couldn't.  All I could do was hold her tight, kiss her cheek, and tell her to never give up hope.  It was all I could do!!!!  And my heart broke.  Even now as I write this, I am holding back the tears when I think about where this precious, gentle child will be if someone does not act fast!!!

My heart hurts..... and I didn't sign up for this!